I've been like, slacking for who-knows-how-long already, after finishing all my moodle quizzes. Once I get 93% and above, I'll stop redo-ing and redo-ing. Anyway, I'm just lazy to do my work. I mean, I know, I shouldn't be slacking. But in any case, I've been cramming for 10 weeks and I should deserve at LEAST one Saturday of slacking.
---
I won't post about today.
Like what I read on another person's blog, you can always find out about my day from somewhere esle, so since this is my blog, shouldn't I be posting my feelings?
Okay, kind of cliched. Not my feelings, but somewhere near there.
+++
Like, you know that people get easily hurt from words you say? Or, insensitive words. Something I read today in a magazine left a deep, lasting impression on me. It is about this girl whose friend died.
He had a quarrel with his mom, and in a fit of anger his mom said, "Go and die la!" And he did. To spite his mother, probably, he jumped from a building.
See the power of words?
Maybe it isn't really the 'power', but how our own feelings and reactions to them can actually make them so 'powerful'. Our interpretations, I mean. Like yesterday, when Jodie said to me when she saw my school badge, " Omg! Why are there these weird chinese words? Your school is so cheena la!" I was affected from that. Maybe it was just a passing remark, something that you just say to express your opinions about something. But people interpret differently.
So, I actually have two things to talk about here; since I'm pissed and I'm trying to source out the source of this anger and solve it. Since Felicia said, "then you must kan kai yi dian!" So I shall. Well, it isn't really so easy. Last year, there was hardly anything to worry about. I had my friends, I had my enemy, I always knew my friends were there for me. I knew they wouldn't be 'stolen' by any other intruder. Childish much, a replay of primary school childishness.
Friends, as I can define, are people who stand by you, who do things to improve you for the better, who don't expect anything in return. Friends, are people who understand your feelings. Friends, know where they are in your life and never forget you.
Why have I become so easily irritated? I doubt its overprotectiveness, can anyone prove that? Sometimes, even with my dearest iRCFC, I still feel so helpless. Maybe, we haven't established that bond between us yet. I don't think I really had with Dawne and MinChih. Although I know them rather well, the two of them are still closer than me with them. Same for Fel and Chitty. Dawne and MinChih are in the same school, same CCA, and everything. I'm not. Fel and Chitty have been sitting together for 1 term, I have not. Cause-and-effect? Maybe.
Well, those are arguments for the fact that I don't have proper friends. Counter-arguments?
I can still make it happen.
Dang. I drifted off-topic. -.-
Anyway, for me to be more open, I just have to keep trying. With everyone around me having different personalities and characters, I can never evade everyone from breaking the fragile bond. Well, I just don't believe in trying-to-stick-to-people methods. If Fel and Chitty wishes to do something, I will leave them alone. Doesn't mean that we're a clique means I can go all "Like, hello! I'm your clique-mate! TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT." I guess, I kinda respect privacy. The same analogy of, "I'm your friend! Let me see you naked!" Yes. Just about.
Like the netball thing, some things just can't be helped. If LXY wants to stay with her dearest 'mommy', then I'll just have to let it be. "Every cloud has a silver lining", and I found peace with Iris and ZhiMin and ZhengJun, who apparently entertained me for the whole of PE.
So, I've drifted off-topic so badly I really forgot what I was going to post about.
At least, through that semi-flaming process, I realise that what I was pissed off about and what I can do. Well, Fel, sometimes flaming at yourselves is good.
and i realise that ever since then, their tone towards me have changed. I no longer look forward to those meetings...
maybe. maybe not. i think not.
:D So now,
I shall try to do some work.
Meeting i-RCFC! on tuesday.
Yay? Maybe.
<3bye.
deadfeelings: comtemplative, yet scared.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
{ 4:01 PM on '#35. Fire! :D' }
Hi :D I'm going to blog.
I've been like, slacking for who-knows-how-long already, after finishing all my moodle quizzes. Once I get 93% and above, I'll stop redo-ing and redo-ing. Anyway, I'm just lazy to do my work. I mean, I know, I shouldn't be slacking. But in any case, I've been cramming for 10 weeks and I should deserve at LEAST one Saturday of slacking.
---
I won't post about today.
Like what I read on another person's blog, you can always find out about my day from somewhere esle, so since this is my blog, shouldn't I be posting my feelings?
Okay, kind of cliched. Not my feelings, but somewhere near there.
+++
Like, you know that people get easily hurt from words you say? Or, insensitive words. Something I read today in a magazine left a deep, lasting impression on me. It is about this girl whose friend died.
He had a quarrel with his mom, and in a fit of anger his mom said, "Go and die la!" And he did. To spite his mother, probably, he jumped from a building.
See the power of words?
Maybe it isn't really the 'power', but how our own feelings and reactions to them can actually make them so 'powerful'. Our interpretations, I mean. Like yesterday, when Jodie said to me when she saw my school badge, " Omg! Why are there these weird chinese words? Your school is so cheena la!" I was affected from that. Maybe it was just a passing remark, something that you just say to express your opinions about something. But people interpret differently.
So, I actually have two things to talk about here; since I'm pissed and I'm trying to source out the source of this anger and solve it. Since Felicia said, "then you must kan kai yi dian!" So I shall. Well, it isn't really so easy. Last year, there was hardly anything to worry about. I had my friends, I had my enemy, I always knew my friends were there for me. I knew they wouldn't be 'stolen' by any other intruder. Childish much, a replay of primary school childishness.
Friends, as I can define, are people who stand by you, who do things to improve you for the better, who don't expect anything in return. Friends, are people who understand your feelings. Friends, know where they are in your life and never forget you.
Why have I become so easily irritated? I doubt its overprotectiveness, can anyone prove that? Sometimes, even with my dearest iRCFC, I still feel so helpless. Maybe, we haven't established that bond between us yet. I don't think I really had with Dawne and MinChih. Although I know them rather well, the two of them are still closer than me with them. Same for Fel and Chitty. Dawne and MinChih are in the same school, same CCA, and everything. I'm not. Fel and Chitty have been sitting together for 1 term, I have not. Cause-and-effect? Maybe.
Well, those are arguments for the fact that I don't have proper friends. Counter-arguments?
I can still make it happen.
Dang. I drifted off-topic. -.-
Anyway, for me to be more open, I just have to keep trying. With everyone around me having different personalities and characters, I can never evade everyone from breaking the fragile bond. Well, I just don't believe in trying-to-stick-to-people methods. If Fel and Chitty wishes to do something, I will leave them alone. Doesn't mean that we're a clique means I can go all "Like, hello! I'm your clique-mate! TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT." I guess, I kinda respect privacy. The same analogy of, "I'm your friend! Let me see you naked!" Yes. Just about.
Like the netball thing, some things just can't be helped. If LXY wants to stay with her dearest 'mommy', then I'll just have to let it be. "Every cloud has a silver lining", and I found peace with Iris and ZhiMin and ZhengJun, who apparently entertained me for the whole of PE.
So, I've drifted off-topic so badly I really forgot what I was going to post about.
At least, through that semi-flaming process, I realise that what I was pissed off about and what I can do. Well, Fel, sometimes flaming at yourselves is good.
and i realise that ever since then, their tone towards me have changed. I no longer look forward to those meetings...
